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But how many, and which ones? Let's consider quantity first: Two is the magic number. This eventually leads to frustration. The U.

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The entire military system is designed to reflect this. A squad leader is in charge of three fire team leaders To help your child live by the Rule of Three, count school as one thing, then add two activities. You certainly wouldn't expect an adolescent to take on more than a Marine can, now would you? Going by the wisdom of certain guidance counselors and helicopter parents, if a kid doesn't have a red-hot burning passion by age 5, she has missed the boat.

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Not long ago, my younger daughter, Lucy, said she wanted to try soccer. I signed her up for a local team. At her first game, some parents on the sidelines shook their heads at me and said, "It's way too late for her to start now.

Regardless of her age handicap — you'd have thought she was dragging a cane up and down the field — Lucy lost interest after a season. And when she later auditioned for the school musical, I half expected the teacher to tell me she was over the hill at How I envy moms whose kids had a marked interest at an early age. But only a small percentage of children fit into this category. William Damon, Ph. Many of these searchers could be described as dreamers and dabblers. Dabblers, like Maggie and Lucy, bounced from one interest to the next too fleetingly, as Damon says, for their hobbies "to become the basis of an enduring personal identity.

Eventually, these children may find a purpose. It just might take a while. Our culture presents youngsters with so many options and opportunities that a parent's job is to help a child maintain forward momentum. So, for example, you buy the guitar, find the teacher, and drive her to lessons — and then feel crushed when, despite your guidance and support, she quits after a season.

Or at least this has been my experience. I'm an advocate of wise wandering. We wander to find our passions.

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Do experiences have value only if they tell us what we want? Probably not. You also have to spend time learning what you don't want. Thus far, Maggie and Lucy have wandered through karate, tennis, yoga, track, gymnastics, fencing, soccer, basketball, volleyball, skiing, skating, theater, clarinet, piano, violin, guitar, ballet, and tap, among other activities.

My kids learned a lot — mainly that neither has a future in pro sports. But maybe I do need to chill: Even if a child quits an activity after a few months, she may circle back to it. Stage two is 'conscious incompetence,' when a kid realizes this is hard and she has a long way to go. Stage three is 'conscious competence' — she puts in the effort and learns to play.

Engaging storybooks in 21 Indian languages.

Most give up in stage two. Fear and insecurity have to be overcome. Some kids are little perfectionists. If they can't do something perfectly right away, they get frustrated and want to quit. Sometimes, between stages two and three, there's a dormant period. If the child dusts it off and starts to play again, this time she might be ready to make a real commitment.

When trying to encourage your kid's interests, don't feel obligated to play to her strengths. Your child's enjoyment is the most important thing, and other benefits may follow. But a love of basketball can translate into a career as a coach, or in the business of sport, or in the media," he says. It all starts with a spark.

Attentive listening and leading questions can uncover hidden glimmers. Ask: "What's important to you? In the race to the finish line, kids are often plugged into the same sports and activities as their peers. The competition to succeed is fierce, and many kids experience anxiety as a result. Observe your child at play, ask open-ended questions and listen when your child shares her dreams. Passion exists everywhere, not just on the playing for field or in a music room. Parents have a tendency to lean on organized sports and highly structured enrichment classes, but passion can play out right in your own home.

Building, knitting, cooking and writing can all be done without structure and guided instruction. When parents worry less about resume building and focus on what makes kids thrive, children find their unique interests and are happier for it. We live in a competitive world and kids experience a significant amount of pressure to perform. When they fall short, they feel deflated. Optimistic kids are more willing to take healthy risks, better problem-solvers and experience positive relationships. You can nurture optimism in your family by starting each day on a positive, teaching them to view setbacks as temporary, modeling optimism and confronting negative self-talk.

When kids feel confident in their abilities, they find their passions. When kids feel judged by their parents, they feel rejected by the people who are supposed to love them the most. The rock collection will probably come and go and in a few years your child might be really passionate about the violin. New York: Jeremy P. Sign up for Dr. Follow Susan Newman on Twitter and Facebook. The three ways of accquiring fame: Being born to it. Unexpectly having it thrust upon you. They simply don't take "No" for an answer, like the old song "On Broadway," by the Drifters.

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Their parents might be "stage parents" like "The Jackson Five. The best thing a parent can do is take the middle path of not opposing a child's ambition and helping them to nurse their bruises when rejection inevitably occurs. Susan Newman, Ph. Research runs counter to the annoying questions you may have to answer. Proven ways to instill the joy of reading in your toddler or reluctant teen.

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Pictures from Children’s Life. No. 12. Passion Sheet Music by Alexander Kopylov

Internal Memes: Parasites and Predators of the Mind. Susan Newman Ph. Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Submitted by Lon Spector on October 20, - am.